Life......

I was kept away from updating the blog recently due to Bob's mother's illness and subsequent passing. What a strange 4 months it has been, full of ups and downs and highs and lows. Just after Thanksgiving Wynne was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. Due to her poor cardiac history, chemotherapy was taken off the table and with the tumor (4x6cm in size) in the right middle lobe surgery wasn't an option either. She chose to fight with radiation and began treatments just after the 1st of the year. The MD said she would only need 20, spread out Monday thru Friday for 4 weeks, with a break in between weeks 2 & 3 if the side effects were too much for her to handle. She seemed to be making fine progress until the end of January when she was experiencing alot of shortness of breath and wheezing. Hospitalization followed for 4 days along with a diagnosis of pericarditis (inflammation of the pericardium) and she was then put on Motrin to decrease the swelling. Back to finish the last 2 weeks of radiation and about 7 days after her final treatment the SOB returned. Another hospitalization followed, this time with acute renal failure brought on by the Motrin and also pneumonia in the right lung. It was at this point that she was sent home with VNA services to help keep an eye on her and to act as a bridge up until the point she would need hospice care. She remained home and fairly stable one week, but as I was holding out hope she would rebound it became clear her breathing was getting much worse and she was having extreme difficulty sleeping and was remarkably weak. She signed on to hospice care on Friday March 5th, but never told us. Thinking she was unaware of what she had done,(and not understanding she may have known all along) we decided it was good to have them on board for what was expected to be a long ride, plus the decision to admit her to hospice would not need to be made by Bob or myself. We were told on Tuesday March 9th that she was definitely in the range for hospice admission, meaning she likely had less than 6 months, but with her underlying health conditions, any issue could exacerbate her already weak heart it could be as close as 1 week to 3 months. On Thursday that week we had to call hospice again because of her difficulty breathing, she even seemed worse than on Tuesday. Thursday night she ate dinner and seemed much the same as she had for the last 7 days or so. Little did we know that would be her last night with us. Bob had difficulty rousing her on Friday morning, I suspected it was due to her new pain medications. After consulting with a nurse friend, who thought her breathing was apneic and her body was diaphoretic (excessively sweating) she suggested we call hospice as her condition seemed to take a drastic turn. Needless to say, hospice agreed and we moved into comfort mode for the rest of the day. After all, we needed to keep her with us until her daughter could get in from Georgia. After a 1hr delay and Friday night Boston traffic we made it back here at 705pm. She died a mere 45 minutes later. Almost unbelievable to look at it now, but a few things really stick out in my mind.
Wynne was a homebody, maybe even a recluse. She very rarely left the house and when she did, she was always in a rush to get back. The social worker had a talk with us on Wednesday about needing to place her in a long term care facility, because her needs were so great, and with the 2 kids at home, we surely would be overwhelmed. Wynne told the SW that she was worried about Bob and would he be ok without her. Once he reassured her that everything would be fine, that he just wanted what was best for her, she relented and agreed to be placed. Knowing that he would be ok and that she was going to have to leave the house if she stayed on this earth another day, I believe, is what set the wheels in motion. Perphaps a little out of character for her, but I truly believe waiting for Wendy to arrive was the last piece of the puzzle. We had a very calm day at home, after the initial shock dissapated and we had a steady stream of visitors over her last hours. Sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, sister in law (Aunty Pauline and Uncle Moe) and even my family came to say goodbye. Although she couldn't respond to us, I truly feel she knew everything that was going on that day. And even now, I feel as though she is quite happy with the way her life ended on that day just over 2 weeks ago. Hard to believe already that much time has passed. Her 70th birthday would've been Monday. So on that day we are going to the cemetary to release some balloons and then will meet up with Bob's brother Jimmy and his family to have dinner and a little birthday cake.

I was really going to post some new pictures tonight, but realized I still have them all on my camera and not downloaded yet. So just a black and white update tonight and the pics will follow later this week. Since my last post we have been very busy with ear infections. Makenna has battled them most of the winter and had a really tough stretch from the last week in January through the 2nd week in February. I am happy to say she hasn't had one in 3 weeks and has been at her happiest in her short life. As I type this she is crying out from her crib, she went to bed with a fever and is a little under the weather, but no ear infection to speak of (yes she was checked at the MD today.) The rest will have to wait....